AND THEN THERE WERE MORONS [Video]

[tsuntrader]

[After what's felt like far too long, Gold and Silver are back. Of course, the sensible thing to do would probably be to alert someone of their return and the fact that they're okay through at least one of their journals and all that good stuff.

And Silver does open up his journal. You'd think that would be what Gold would do before Silver, wouldn't it? Well, things are a little... Mixed up at the moment. So "Silver" opens up his journal to speak his piece.]

Which way is it to the village? It's this way, right? ["Silver" points in a direction to his right.]

Yeah, go ahead and tell him all about how it's actually this way. ["Gold" points in a direction to his left.]

I'm telling you, it's this way. [Pointing!]

And I'm telling you there's no way it's not this way! [Pointing in the opposite direction!]

And what makes you so sure?!

Why wouldn't I be so sure?

[And now looking at the journal.] Tell this idiot he's wrong and that it's this way to the village. [Pointing in that direction again]

Yeah, or tell the truth and let this moron know that he couldn't find his way to the village if his life depended on it.

[And it continues on. Someone might want to fill them in on how they're both wrong and both stupid before this goes on forever. And maybe, you know, comment on how they're back.]

[ooc: SO HEY GUYS GOLD AND SILVER ARE BACK. Except, well, Gold is Silver (mischieftrader) and Silver is Gold (tsunbreeder). What could possibly go wrong? Nothing, that's what. ...And by nothing I mean everything. ALSO ALLOW ME TO REITERATE THAT THEY ARE BOTH POINTING THE WRONG WAY. And stupid. So yes. Also order is- ...Uh. You then "Silver" then "Gold". You then mischieftrader then tsunbreeder.]

Comments

[action]

[tsunbreeder]

[2... 1...] What are you doing here?

[action]

[imatreenow]

[It's his good fortune that he just so happens to be upright when Silver and Gold approach...well, almost. Leaning his side against a tree after stumbling just seconds before. Close enough. But it's his bad fortune that they approached at all.]

An arrogant question from an arrogant human. This forest isn't under your jurisdiction and what I do is none of your business. [Hey Gold, he remembers you from when he was a kid. But he doesn't really expect you to recognize him...of course, Silver will probably ruin that soon enough regardless.]

[action]

[mischieftrader]

It's not arrogant. It's called showing compassion for someone. You're not exactly in good condition to be wandering around this forest, you know.

[action]

[tsunbreeder]

[Dude you're on crutches it's kind of a bad- oh. Gold's got it covered. Nodding.]

[action]

[imatreenow]

[Ignoring the 'showing compassion' comment because ugh. How many times do they have to go down that road?] ...There are things more important than my own health.

[action]

[mischieftrader]

Like what?

[action]

[tsunbreeder]

[...] Did something happen?

[action]

[imatreenow]

It's not necessary for either of you filthy humans to know. [...even if he knows Silver won't accept an evasive answer like that. How annoying.]

[action]

[mischieftrader]

I don't know about the filthy part, [they're crawling around a forest] but being human doesn't have anything to do with whether we should know or not.

[action]

[tsunbreeder]

...You know, you're right. It's not necessary, but I wasn't asking because it was necessary. [He was asking because, you know, he cares. Or something. A little. Whatever.]

[action]

[imatreenow]

[...Okay, he can manage to push himself properly upright now. Not that he looks particularly intimidating either way.]

I still see no reason to tell you anything. [Even if the only reason not to tell them is stubbornness and a need to keep confusing humans-but-not at as many arms' lengths as possible.]

[action]

[mischieftrader]

Then don't tell us. We're not gonna twist your arm over it.

[action]

[tsunbreeder]

Exactly.

[action] 1/2 for great justice

[imatreenow]

[They dropped it more easily than he anticipated, but he's definitely not complaining.] ...Then stop wasting my time. [So here he goes, making his grand escape.]

[action] I will over-use this plot device for great justice too

[imatreenow]

[Except not really, because within two tiny steps his crutch slips on a stone hidden underneath the dead leaves littering the ground. He lands hard on his side.]

[action]

[mischieftrader]

[Oh, geez, pain in the--]

See, this is why we were concerned.

[action]

[tsunbreeder]

[Nod. Good job proving their point, though.]

[action]

[imatreenow]

[He sits up gingerly, carefully inspecting his dully throbbing arm. Nothing worse than a new bruise, a few scrapes, and a little blood. Then he shoots a glare at the two.]

Don't bother. Why would you care?

[action]

[mischieftrader]

Oh, I dunno. Guess this "filthy human" just cares about people, simple as that.

[action]

[tsunbreeder]

It's not that complicated.

[action]

[imatreenow]

[working on gathering up his crutches...]

And this half-elf doesn't believe you. [He'll be as blunt about his non-human-ness as he can if it means they'll leave him alone. That's all he wants.]

[action]

[mischieftrader]

[Your attempt has the opposite effect, Mithos.]

Let me ask you this. What exactly makes you, a "half-elf" different from me, a "human"? You got extra toes? Second set of eyes under all that hair? Growing a second head somewhere on your body? I mean, as far as I can tell, you don't seem a damn bit different from me or him, so try enlightening me.

[action]

[tsunbreeder]

Me too. We're all ears.

[action]

[imatreenow]

[He's silent for a few moments, staring at them coldly. He doesn't bother trying to stand back up, because with how much of a struggle it will be he'll only succeed in making it evident how much he shouldn't be out here. Then he looks away to glare at nothing in particular.]

...If I can manage to stay here, I have nearly a thousand years remaining in my life. Because of our elven blood, our lifespans are much longer and we age much more slowly than you humans. Once my body reaches adulthood I won't age perceptibly for decades, maybe a century or even longer. It's almost like being frozen in time.

[There are plenty more differences, but this might be the one humans had sunk their hooks into the most. The magic might be a moot point with how many he's seen wielding it here, and...well, if (who he thinks is) Silver is going to make a big deal about physical abnormalities, he'll be subtle. This is him brushing hair back for a moment, just enough to give a good glimpse of a pointed ear. To think he'd have to explain everything to a pair of humans, when it's so ingrained in all the humans from his world. All this might seem counterintuitive, but he's trying to prove a point.]

[action]

[mischieftrader]

...So what? So you live longer? Your ears are kinda different? Is that all? With the way you talk, you make it sound like "half-elves" are some bizarre otherworldly being completely different in every way from everyone ever.

Look, I dunno how it is in your world, but in mine? We've got all-powerful creatures whose lifespans make ours seem insignificant. And you know what? We revere them.